Live Life on Life's Terms

My wife and I have been in a custody battle for her 11 year old son, Bailey. Kiley, my wife, gave up custody of her son while she was having a drug induced breakdown. She has regretted that decision ever since.

This past March we decided to go for custody because Bailey told us that he wanted to live with us. It is something that we had talked about for quite a while, but this pushed us over the edge. We hired a lawyer and started the process...the long, painful process.

I am not going to go through all the details and this certainly is not all about me, but I want share what I learned about myself through this: I can live life on life's terms.

It really only hit me about 3 weeks ago. I was thinking about how horrible the stress of this was. How worried I was about Kiley and how much I felt for Bailey. I have had a lot of sleepless nights. I have had a lot of bad days at work. I have been short with people. I have not eaten well. I missed too much church. However, not once did I think that I would be better off taking a drink.

Before sobriety, I simply was not cut out for living life. I could not cope with anything. The most mundane thing would stress me out and make me crave the feeling of cheap whiskey on my tongue. Since I stopped drinking and adopted a program for my life, I have gone through a divorce, had many financial hardships, had a brother in Afghanistan, and dealt with the loss of a custody trial. I never did drink. I don't even really recall struggling with it. My life may or may not suck right now, but it sucks much more when I drink.

We do not control life, but we can't let life control us either. I do not necessarily believe in, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I would rather say, "If life gives you lemon, don't get drunk."

No, we did not win the custody hearing, but I have to believe that God has a plan for Bailey's life that did not include him living with us right now. I am good with that.