Quiet and Reflective

Wednesday night marked my 4th anniversary of sobriety. Not a single person said a word to me. Now, some of you might think that is pathetically sad, but it wasn't. It was absolutely perfect.

The focus wasn't on me. I didn't have a moment to think what an 'awesome' job I had done. Instead I was able to spend a lot of the day thinking how amazing God is and how I still don't get why He cares so much for me. He took a pathetic drunk and put him on His back and carried him through his lowest point.

I make no apologies for saying that I am only sober today because the strength that I have found in Christ. Not in people, not in A.A., not the folks at Valley Hope treatment center, not my church, but in Christ alone. All those people along the way have indeed helped me, but grace took me out of my perpetual darkness and brought me to light.

I understand people not wanting to turn their lives over to Christ. Heck, I believed in Jesus and still didn't want to turn my life over to him. As awful as I was at running my life, I still felt this need to be in control. I had proved over and over again that me being in control was like a blind man directing traffic, but I still thought I would do a better job that God would have done.

I also understand people thinking that turning your life over to Christ is losing all freedom. I'm here today to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. Me being who I was created to be is the only freedom there is. We were made to be perfect in God's eyes. To worship Him and, in return, to be cared for by Him. When sin entered the world we lost all that. We were separated from God. Jesus made all that better. Now when God sees me he is looking through Jesus shades. There is a filter in between me and God. That filter is Jesus.

I am truly free now.

I'm glad that nobody remember the day. I'm glad that was able to focus on He who got me where I am today.

Be safe, be strong,

Johnny