Under Attack

I have always thought that self pity is like a dandelion; left alone it will spread and cover every part of your life. Personally, I think that dandelions are pretty. They look like a flower to me, but they are a weed that will completely take over if left alone.

I am running in self pity gear right now. I could go into "why", but that would just fuel the pity.

This is not the norm for me. I have a pretty good track record of confidence in who I am in Christ since I got sober.

I believe that I am under attack. The 180Xchange kicked off this past week. The 180Xchange is a bridge ministry between a 12 step program and hurting people that don't have what we would call an "addiction" by the worlds standards. There were 70 people at the launch of the 180Xchange! The church is a place filled with hurting people. People that want life to be different, but just can't quite figure it out. Satan does not want us to help them figure it out.

So, Satan opens up his bag of tricks and throws a "Gosh, Johnny, why do people treat you that way?" or "Man, when is this same old crap ever going to end for you?" And wouldn't you know, I have not handled it well. I fell for the old tricks. Honestly, I have recognized what's going on, but I'm still working through it.

I do know this: If I don't rebuke this and get my focus off of myself and get my focus back on God then Satan will get what he wants. What does he want? He wants for the leadership of this recovery ministry to start falling by the wayside. He wants me to become ineffective. He wants me to fail. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world! Satan has come to steal, kill, and to destroy, but Jesus came for life!

If you happen to read this, please pray for me. Pray that I will change that focus and start acting like what God has made me: Strong and Free!

Johnny