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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Boundaries?

I was at an Overcomer's Outreach meeting on Thursday night. The leader of the meeting wanted to talk about what everyone's motivation was to stop their addiction; what kept them sober.

It isn't the first time that I was aware how lucky I am that my problem is alcohol. My heart goes out to people that have an addiction to something that they can't stay away from.

One of the biggest reasons that I've been able to stay sober for this long are boundaries. I know what my weaknesses are and I know what I need to avoid. For example I don't:
  • go to bars
  • go to parties
  • have alcohol in my home
  • tell stories of great drinking days
  • stay somewhere when I start to feel edgy
Now, answer me this:
How does someone with codependency, a married man with a sexual addiction, or someone with an eating disorder have the same kind of boundaries?

As you can see with my boundaries, I try to make it impossible for me to even be around alcohol and I've been pretty successful with it. I know that it is bad for me and I know that it will kill me if take part in it again. There is no "learning to live with alcohol in my life" for me. Someone with a sexual addiction is still going to have very natural feelings that happen as a result of hormones. Let's say that they are married. Well, then sex would be a normal, regular part of their lives. Someone with an eating disorder still has to eat. A codependent can't just take off to the woods and never talk to a single person again the rest of their lives.

I think that all addictions require a renewing of the mind. I just that think that most alcoholics can stop drinking first then renew the mind later. A codependent person must renew their mind in parallel with fighting their addiction.

This is part of the reason why I am so excited that we are bringing a full spectrum recovery ministry to the church. How hard it must be for someone that is struggling so hard to not think lustful thoughts when they are surrounded by beautiful women, all day, that want to show the world just how awesome their bodies are? It would be like me becoming a busboy at a bar.

We have the opportunity to take the 12th step the world. If you are in recovery, from anything, then you have the duty to take it to them. Not just the drunks and the druggies, but all hurting people. If you believe that God gave mankind the 12 steps, as I do, then its power is for everyone.

My prayer goes out to all the still suffering addicts that can't get the cravings to go away.

Johnny

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Bottom

"I hit rock bottom and then I got sober."

Is there such a thing as rock bottom?

Why was my rock bottom different from yours?

This guy kills someone while driving drunk. He goes to jail for 10 years and then starts drinking again when he gets out of jail. What is his rock bottom? Is death his rock bottom?

I am not rambling. I have recently met an alcoholic that should have hit bottom, but I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice: he hasn't hit his bottom.

It is so hard to not grab him and shake him and let him know that there is a better life. Slap him and tell him that he can be happy.

Why are we all so different?

I went to a treatment center in Cushing, Oklahoma called Valley Hope. They have an impressive recovery rate of 20%. That means that 80% of the wonderful people that I met are most likely back in treatment, in jail, or dead. Why did I get it and they didn't?

I know that Jesus is the only reason that I am sober today. I know that for some reason that grace was shown to me. I don't want to minimize what I did. I'll never forget that day I left Valley Hope. I was so scared. I knew in my heart that I didn't have a chance. All I knew to do was to talk to God right then and there. I prayed, "God, I know that I will most likely fail, but I promise you that I will not go quietly. I will go down swinging." I meant it. I know that He knew that I meant it.

I guess that I don't really believe that someone has to reach a devastating bottom to realize how awful that their life has become. Maybe I should say that is my prayer. That one day we'll be able to reach out to the still suffering alcoholic and help them to see that there is life past alcohol; a life full and rich.

Please pray my friend that he sees the light before he finds a horrific bottom.

Johnny

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Sober in West Virginia?

This October I turn 38.

I was telling a co-worker today that I do not see turning 38 as a bad thing at all. It seems that the older I get the better my decisions in life get. So, based on that logic, I should be pretty good in about 30 years.

Sorry, I'll get back on track here. This year for my birthday I am going backpacking Senaca Creek in Backcountry, West Virginia (cue banjo music!) with some guys from my church. My wife is going to be staying at a Bed & Breakfast in Smoke Hole, Virginia. I will be meeting up with her on a Sunday night and we will spend the evening together before heading back home on Monday.

On the surface, I suppose that this is something that is common enough for a guy to do, but I can't help but think that I would not be going backpacking if I wasn't sober.

I am so looking forward to spending time in nature just being in awe of God and His creation.

I am planning on taking a notebook and recording my thoughts and my activities while I am there. I hope to write about it after I get back...if the bears don't get me!

I have been thinking about how much alcohol robs you of life. As soon as I get done typing I'm going to go play my electric guitar. Probably jam out to some Jeremy Camp songs. I could not have done that while I was drinking. I didn't care about anything else, while I was drinking, accept for drinking. Now I get to enjoy life.

Walking through the mountains of West Virginia is going to be a way for me to take back something that was taken from me. I am going to breathe the fresh air, drink crystal clear stream water, and be amazed at how fast I can run away from an angry bear!

Isn't life sober so much better?

Take care of yourself and just don't drink today!

Johnny

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Do I "Got the Power"

Every morning for the last three weeks I've been reading a chapter in the book of Acts. Everyday I walk away asking myself the same question, "Where is that power today?"

I talk to more Christians today that seem to be trying too hard to hear God's voice. People that seem to be seeking so hard to know His will for their lives.

Why was it different for Peter? For Paul? Neither really had to struggle to know God's will and direction. I pray and pray about a situation and then end up going with my gut. God would talk to Peter and tell him that,
"...some guy would be coming by his house and knocking on his door precisely at 3 o'clock in the afternoon wearing a blue Colts jersey and mismatched socks. He's going to ask you to change the tire on his 1999 Silver Ford Taurus that has 98,435 miles on it. After you change his tire give him a glass of water and that blue shirt you bought at Old Navy last March."

What is up with that? What was so different about Peter and Paul? Don't feed me the, "Well, that was for 'back then'." God is an unchanging God.

If God is an unchanging God then I have to assume that I am doing something different, or not doing something at all, that the disciples and apostles were doing. I suppose that the first thing that comes to mind is distractions. The followers of Christ ,at the time, had one purpose for being on this planet: to tell people about Jesus. Me? Well, let's see? I work 40 to 55 hours per week. I have two dogs that require a lot of my attention. I have my stepson, Bailey, every other weekend and half the summer. I have a house that needs to be cleaned. Grass that needs to be mowed. I won't take my vehicles into the shop for any reason at all, and sometimes it takes me a lot of time to figure out how to fix them myself. Oh, and I spend a few hours a week working on my church's Recovery Ministry....'a few hours a week'.

My faith and my evangelistic heart (tongue-in-cheek) are so far down the list that I'm not even sure that they count.

We've covered priorities, now let's look at discipline!

I mentioned that I get up each morning and read a chapter of the Bible. Now, I'm almost certain that that puts me into a small percentage of Christians that actually do that. Wow, look at me! I read the Bible everyday. The power of the Spirit must flow out of me like water from a broken levee! Riiiight.

Wait! I do pray..."God, I want to be better at_________please help me to be more like Jesus in that area." "God, thank you for helping me stop drinking." "God, thank you for my wonderful wife and the redemption that you have given with her."

I suppose that these are wonderful prayers and that they are heard, but is it what God has in mind? Acts talks of men praying and fasting....lots of fasting. Fasting? You have got to be kidding me! I am hungry right now!

I do know that a relationship with God is about progress, not perfection. I will be perfect in that relationship, one day, but until then I am looking for progress. I am seeing that progress, as slow as it may seem at times. However, I want that power. I want to quote scripture and see lives changed. I want to lay hands on someone that is sick and watch God heal them. I want to see someone whose life is tormented by evil and cast that spirit of addiction out of them. Why not? Peter did it. Paul did it. John did it. Am I not a child of God? Does the same Spirit live in me that lived in Peter, the Rock?

God has not changed. Jesus is still the Messiah and when He physically left this world He sent his Spirit. He didn't send the "A-Team" Spirit and then later sent the Spirit that sits on the bench. The same Spirit that lives in me is the same Spirit that Paul had.

In Ephesians, Paul talks about believers having the same power that Jesus had. I don't see that in my life.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Let's get started!

Last night was our first rehearsal for the recovery ministry worship team. It was odd. We had never played together before so it was hard at first, but we started to get used to each other.

I never realized just how much worship music out there is completely geared towards men. We are going to have to transpose to a key more suited to the ladies.

I talked with Greg (Pastor that's leading this ministry) and got some really exciting news. He met with the head Pastor and church is completely behind us. They want the "180 Exchange" to help the church meet the needs of hurting people. He expects this to really take off.

I'm just so excited to be a part of this.

Johnny