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Friday, December 12, 2008

Consequences: It's never my fault!

something produced by a cause or necessarily following from a set of conditions

Some days I wish that I could pass blame for my life to someone, or something else. Trust me, I spent a good part of my life resting, in perfect peace, that my life was someone else's fault. My marriage was a mess because of the example that I had. I drank so much because I had to deal with all that guilt and shame that I had learned growing up. I gained so much weight because something was wrong with my body. All of those things were true, but not an excuse.

We are prepared for our adult life by a set of people that, most likely, had the same type of childhood that we did. If I'm not at fault for the adult life because of my parents, then how can my parents be held responsible? Did they not have parents too? My Grandparents are wonderful people, but they sucked as parents to my Mom. Great! That means that I can blame my Grandparents for my horrible choices! What? Oh. You're right, they had parents too. Then who in the hell am I supposed to blame?

How 'bout I blame the person responsible. What say I blame the person that ate anything and everything that he could get his hands on. I think that some blame goes to the person that was controlling and verbally abusive to his wife. Let's not forget to blame the guy that was guzzling whiskey from the bottle at six in the morning and would not stop until he blacked out or ran out of drink.

I did all those things. Me. I can't pass the buck any longer. I have to take personal responsibility for my life. Right now, it appears that I'm going to fall 'victim' to the economic woes of this world; I'm going to lose my house. Victim? I bought a house with no money down on an interest only loan for 5 years. Sound like a 'victim' to you? Me neither. It is me paying the consequences for making a poor decision.

Part of sobriety is placing the blame where it belongs. I can no longer afford to side-step my role in my own life. I make my own choices, I make my own decisions, and I pay for them; good or bad.

It feels good to take ownership. It feels good to feel horrible about the poor choices and to work through it. We hurt people along the way. When I own my actions, I can make amends and move on.

I am not a bad person, but I have made bad choices. All I can do it try to do the next 'right' thing.

Stay strong and help someone else out today.


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The Blainemonster said...

Excellent, Johnny-O, thank you.

Tori said...

Thanks for your post. There are a number of different treatment programs and approaches to support addicts who decide to get help. I’ve found Silver Hill Hospital’s adult and adolescent substance abuse treatment programs to be very informative.